Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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