i permit you to call me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
