I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
