Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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