So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
