I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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