i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's blow job season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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