After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
