How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
