My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
