doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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