apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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