we made out on top of his cat.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
