bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
