I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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