Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You ate ashes out of my bong
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
