He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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