if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
