I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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