For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
