we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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