yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
