Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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