He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
