I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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