Non-Jews are for practice
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
