I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
COCAINE IS GR8
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
