I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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