So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
