Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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