come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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