Umm I'm too high to move.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
