god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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