Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
