dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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