It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize