My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
