Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
