ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
