What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
