quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
