The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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