i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize