ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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