so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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