All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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