have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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