i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
