Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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