We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
