I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
