He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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