the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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