just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize