Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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