Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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