it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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