Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
