so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
