Say something about gay babies.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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