The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
