and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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