I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My liver just broke up with me...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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