K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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