Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
