Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
