Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
