Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
